She looked straight into my eyes and back on the knife lying flat on the floor, she looked back in my eyes and said “you remind me of that very sorrowful day, and each time I remember, I had always wished I had aborted you instead if having a fatherless baby, now I regret following professor’s advise of keeping you till this very age, look at you bringing the same old sad story again.
I wish I had killed you, I just wish”, mum said as she weeps while looking at the knife angrily.
Now I became more scared as I don’t know what she’ll do with the knife after her utterances. Was she thinking of stabbing me? I asked myself.
I quickly picked up the knife and ran into my room, locked myself in and cried all day.
Later she called me out from far away, it was in the night, I had slept for long.
I quickly stood up and asked what she wanted, she pleaded that I should forgive her, for her utterances were out of frustration and she meant no harm as I am her only blood she could find near.
I felt some hot fluid running down my chick as I opened the door gently, she was standing helplessly at the entrance, it was obvious she had been crying all day. It’s been long I saw my mom in this state and I couldn’t help but to hug her really tight and begged her to forget the past.
We were at the dinning table discussing about the recent film showing on the TV, then my mum suggested I visit the clinic, I was reluctant as I was expecting the worst result that I cannot imagine in my wildest dreams. I thought of the horrible scene again and the period I was expecting, arrgh!!! What if I was pregnant ? There will be no period till after nine months? “Noooo!!!” I shouted aloud, my mum was scared as she asked why I shouted after a long silence. I kept mute and told her I wasn’t going to the clinic. She pleaded that I should go for the sake of medical issues which might be unknown, I thought about it then agreed I was going to hear the most horrible result of a lifetime.
The food became sour as I couldn’t get the taste any longer, I was lost in thought for a long time and all I thought was ending up like my mother. Having a fatherless child. What is it with this crazy trend in my lineage?, or is this a curse ?, the result had better be negative, I argued within.
It was the next morning, I was anxious to leave home for the clinic, my mum was ready and all dressed up, she said I shouldn’t take anything for the sake of the test (I was hungry though). I quickly dressed up and all that was running in me were prayers. But some prayers could just be so late that it cannot be answered again. The journey to the clinic seemed longer than it use to be, my chest was beating really fast as I was just imagining things.
We waited for the doctor to call us in, I watched as people go in and out of the clinic, I watched pregnant women walk sluggishly as they carry those heavy stomachs around, my hear skipped a bit as I watched in amazement. I was imagining things like what if I was pregnant, but how could this be possible, as I am just twelve and have not actually started my menstrual period yet. Thinking of that made me rest assured that it wasn’t possible for me to be pregnant. Again another thought stroked my mind and I had a feeling if those monsters had infected me with a kind of disease, and I know definitely it wasn’t HIV, never!!!
Alas! The doctor called us to his office, my mum explained my ordeals to him with tears rolling down. I sat quietly like I don’t have an idea of what is being said.
She then said the doctor should run a pregnancy test for me. The doctor replied with pity and told my mum that my case is quite unfortunate and that he knows all test required and I would be advised to enrol in their rehabilitation center to eradicate the crazy scene off my head.
I cried as I couldn’t imagine myself in this state, raped, deflowered, going to be rehabilitated, going for a pregnancy test, and other STD tests if the need arise. Everything seemed like a nightmare as I pinched myself to confirm if the happenings were real, YES they were.
I went through various tests and I and my mum sat at the reception as we awaits the results. The doctor whose face was wearing pity invited us back in his office. He kept mute for a while and then handed the results to us saying “it’s quite unfortunate”, I became more scared as I read a lot of meanings to what he said, I was anxious to read what’s on the paper and at the same time scared to hear the worst result of my life.
Yes! It was dawn on me ……..
WHAT WAS ON THE RESULT?
Watch out in the next episode
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